INTIMACY IN LOVE

Dear all,

I received this mail and felt should share it with you.

Read carefully, perhaps it may benefit you.


When I got
home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I've
got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed
the hurt in her eyes.

Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I
had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the
topic calmly.

She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked
me softly, why?

I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw
away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we
didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out
what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a
satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Jane. I didn't love her
anymore. I just pitied her!

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a
divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and
30% stake of my company.

She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces.
The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a
stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I
could not take back what I had said for I loved Jane so dearly. Finally she
cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me
her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had
obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.

The
next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the
table. I didn't have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very
fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Jane.

When I woke up,
she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned
over and was asleep again.

In the morning she presented her divorce
conditions: she didn't want anything from me, but needed a month's notice
before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle
to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had
his exams in a month's time and she didn't want to disrupt him with our
broken marriage.

This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she
asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our
wedding day.

She requested that every day for the month's duration I carry
her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was
going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her
odd request.

I told Jane about my wife's divorce conditions. . She laughed
loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she
has to face the divorce, she said scornfully.

My wife and I hadn't had any
body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I
carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped
behind us, daddy is holding mommy in his arms. His words brought me a sense
of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked
over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly;
don't tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I
put her down outside
the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I
drove alone to the office.

On the second day, both of us acted much more
easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse.
I realized that I hadn't looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I
realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face,
her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute
I wondered what I had done to her.

On the fourth day, when I lifted her
up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given
ten years of her life to me.

On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that
our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn't tell Jane about this. It
became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday
workout made me stronger.

She was choosing what to wear one morning. She
tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she
sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had
grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more
easily.

Suddenly it hit me... she had buried so much pain and bitterness
in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.

Our son
came in at the moment and said, Dad, it's time to carry mom out. To him,
seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of
his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him
tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind
at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom,
through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck
softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding
day.

But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held
her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I
held her tightly and said, I hadn't noticed that our life lacked
intimacy.

I drove to office.... jumped out of the car swiftly without
locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind...I
walked upstairs. Jane opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Jane, I do
not want the divorce anymore.

She looked at me, astonished, and then
touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my
head. Sorry, Jane, I said, I won't divorce. My marriage life was boring
probably because she and I didn't value the details of our lives, not
because we didn't love each other anymore. Now I realize that since I
carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until
death do us apart.

Jane seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud
slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs
and drove away.

At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of
flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I
smiled and wrote, I'll carry you out every morning until death do us
apart.

That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my
face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed - dead.
My wife had
been fighting CANCER for months and I was so busy with Jane to even notice.
She knew that she would die soon and she wanted to save me from the
whatever negative reaction from our son, in case we push thru with the
divorce.-- At least, in the eyes of our son--- I'm a loving
husband....

The small details of your lives are what really matter in a
relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the
bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give
happiness in themselves. So find time to be your spouse's friend and do
those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real
happy marriage/relationship!!!!!!!!!!

Feel free to share this letter. It
Could save a marriage! It is such small things we do to our lovely ones
that make the real difference -- not money or a house. It's the fact that
the other person knows that you care.

Keep loving your partner